intra and extra punitive attitudes

At the cinema, a women with a big hat hides a major part of the film :

A) you ask her to remove her hat;

B) the seat nearby is free, so you change;
C) you say nothing and enjoy most of the film but feels unhappy the rest of the day and can not sleep well in the evening.

A is E type (extra punitive attitude) putting the responsibility to others…
C is I type (intro punitive attitude), blaming oneself

All can be very destructive… specially to those who are not treated fairly, but they still need to bear… and one becomes either destructive to the external world or the internal ordered self/consciousness of feelings or ideas…

As for C – say nothing and enjoy most of the film but feels unhappy the rest of the day and can not sleep well in the evening, because the expression of the negative emotions were twisted back to hurt oneself… if a kid suffers this from the family and bears for years, it can be a problem…

It is obviously a failure to forgive about myself and the world(others), as if you are not in power to control, and have to rest part of the film screen and say nothing, and feel bad for one day, and the similar things continues again and again – you begin to blame to seek for self-pity from someone else or you need someone to talk to and blame the world – extro punitive attitude, as extro punitive attitude is blaming the external world and is aggressive – asking her to remove the world, but she she turns back to you, saying ‘shut the fuck up’, you are not in power to dominate/change the thing, the arrow turns back to hurt yourself, and the depression can not be released, you can only seek for self-pity/ self identification for at then the self-esteem is very week

Intro punitive attitude is defensive(I am a loser, it is my fault, I can not…) whilst extra punitive attitude is aggressive(take you hat, the film is stupid)… when you can not control, they switch, and it hurts the mind, we all need to channel the negative feelings actually…
although both extra and intro punitive can be in constructive way (make better world and oneself).. say, you can make redesign the cinema or you can exchange with the woman and have a half way…

Jun
http://www.junwang.me

About Jun Wang
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