formulating and mirroring

When we encounter a situation, we are likely to fill in the situation into our formulas/thinking schemes, when there’s hole, we project the meaning onto the object and reflect them back, when it doesn’t fill it, we mould it to make sure it fills into the formula and manufacture a correct thought.

but if we interpret the situation and program our own formulas, we are likely to be linked to many directions: multi-dimensional, structural…) and build many possible formulas which are different from others.

this means, you are separated from others, except you pick up one formula in your head which is the same with the participants to interact in a conversation.

if we think less and just use the common formulas programmed within us, even through the formula is wrong, but that doesn’t separate us from each other or make us lonely, that makes communication possible ;-p

to have different formulas when exchanging can be kind of humour:
what else apart from internet games and on line chatting can you do when at work?
yes, we are chatting, but we are not playing internet games
yesterday you were playing internet games
but yesterday we were not chatting on line…

in fact to meet people who share the same formulas is not that possible, but you can still meet some, we can met people who read the same books or do Yoga with us! but to exchange with different formulas is usual painful and unwise in the commercial world (in fact, it can be productive)

In the commercial world, in lots of conversations, there’s only one formula, one side just mirrors formula of the other side – and produces the same emotions, or sentences which contain the same emotions/ideas to develop rapport) this also happens betwixt a woman and a man in love.

for instance:
the internet access is lost, I can not browse…
it doesn’t work on my computer either…
(but the internet works well, he is mirroring your formula to have the same mood to make you feel good)
you may also find that salesmen mirror your formula to attach the same emotions to the sentences he speaks and crisps you buy together to ’empathise’ with you and open you up! really tired of the game ;-p

Mr. Jun Wang

About Jun Wang
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